if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
