Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
