i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have already put on my inside pants.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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