Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize