wanna go halves on a baby?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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