3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You can't motorboat a personality
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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