I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
