Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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