This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
