so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
