Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
