why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
