how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm drive I can fine osifer
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
