I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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