didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
