The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
