Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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