i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
