how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
