do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
