walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
