There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
