sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
