I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
