What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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