i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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