My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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