Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
