Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
