people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We need to rekindle our bromance
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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