YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize