A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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