weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
