Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
