I've blown a few things in my day
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
