Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize