That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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