Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
