please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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