question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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