maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
