you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
