girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
