So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
