If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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