She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
