I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
