I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
