So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
