I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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