Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
