Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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