I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
