im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
