she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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