I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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