New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
