Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
