hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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