your room smells of hookers.
And success
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
