lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
