You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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