Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
